“Mind in hazes
Everyday in dazes
Depression is a manipulator
Makes myself a traitor”
When I’m in a dark place, my outlet is to write it out. I wrote this poetry exert when I was in a really dark place. There’s more to the poem, but it’s darker than I’d like to share on here.
It’s hard to talk about mental health, especially depression because it’s still so stigmatized in our society. Although more people are recognizing how real it is, it’s a hard thing for people to wrap their heads around unless they’ve been through it themselves.
A lot of adults around me don’t understand my depression and anxiety. They think I’m just “going through a sad period” and that I “need to relax more.” But what they don’t understand is that it’s not just sadness or nerves, it’s a chemical imbalance in my brain that makes me depressed and feel worthless, while my anxiety makes me want to have a heart attack and pass out.
I’m luckily in therapy where I can talk about all of my emotions. And honestly if I wasn’t, I don’t think I would be standing here today. That’s dark, but it’s utterly true. People disappear into their own minds when the monster takes over. We want to shrivel away and stop the thoughts from racing. But it’s hard to hear when all you have a destructive thoughts. Talking to people, researching your mental state and listening to others stories can help kickstart the helping process.
Depression never goes away, it can be helped, calmed and even medicated, but it’s always there. And for those like me who suffer from it, we understand and do anything to help conquer it. We a lot of the times help each other.
Depression sucks, but I’m taking one step at a time. And I’m doing okay. I hope all of you out there are too.