To put it in simple terms, I am a busy, busy girl. I make myself think I can do everything in the world, even though it's not humanly possible.
I have two jobs currently, but I use to have three. I just recently resigned my position because I realized I can't do it all while giving everything 100%. It's just not physically, and it's sure not mentally, possible.
If you know me, you know I like to take on everything I can. I want people to come to me and believe I can help them in anyway possible. I use to be the "yes" woman who never turned down an opportunity to help out or gain more experience. But after some time, I've finally realized that it's not healthy for me. I can't always say yes to everything. It's just not possible.
I still to this day feel guilty when I have to say no. To resign from my one job, it took a lot out of me. I go through a lot mentally anyway, but I was having a really hard time wrapping my head around my failure. And that's what I saw it as; I was a failure.
I know I'm not. I know that I just have too much on my plate. But I still feel like I let down everyone and myself. (I am a people-pleaser, so it makes sense.)
When I tell people I quit that job, they greet me with relief. The response I got from my friend Emily was, "good. Because I was severely worried about you and your health."
My boyfriend responded to me that he's proud of me and really happy because he'll get to see me more often.
Family and friends have been incredibly supportive of me and my decision. I couldn't be more thankful because I don't feel as crazy.
It's almost been a week since my last day. And to be honest, I'm still incredibly stressed. But at least I'm not freaking out about another job and another responsibility I don't have the time of mental capability for. I'm thankful that I had that experience and thankful to everyone for understanding my limits.
I need to keep in mind that I'm no superhero. I am only human. And that's okay.